Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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