we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
