theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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