Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
