"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
