somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I think i got beer on your cat.
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