Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
