I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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