I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize