i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm at about main and main street
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
