I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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