when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
