hotel room ftw
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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