apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you would pick up someone in the library
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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