I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
