Christians are straight up FREAKS
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
