Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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