The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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