we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
