She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
