return my video game
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
