i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
