It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You've changed since you got that strap on
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
