i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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