I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
