My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
