I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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