So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize