Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
