One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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