and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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