remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
