I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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