she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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