Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
