big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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