my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
