Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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