now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
