No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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