Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize