Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
