Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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