does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
