The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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