I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i barfeds in our rink
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
