Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
