Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just invented taco cereal.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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