Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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