New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
