I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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