somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I think I just sharted jello shots
There's even glitter on my cock...
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