just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
