I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
