this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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