I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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