I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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