We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
